Crazy by Gnarls Barkley

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so crazy about that place
Even your emotions had an echo in so much space
And when you're out there, your out there- without care
Yeah I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much

Does that make me Crazy?
Does that make me Crazy?
Does that make me Crazy?
Possibly

And I hope that you are havin' the time of your life
But think twice, that's my only advice

Come on now who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you
think you are, ha ha ha, bless your soul
D'you really think you're in control
well

I think you're Crazy 
I think you're Crazy
I think you're Crazy
Just like me

My heroes had the heart to live their lives
And all I remember is thinkin' I wanna be like them.
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And there's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done

But maybe I'm Crazy
Maybe you're Crazy
Maybe we're Crazy
Possibly

I see you fluttering
Face in the ground
Can't even stand up
and everybody is around

Twitching spastically
Gasping for air
Heart is racing
Does any body care?

Laughter around you
Hearts reaching out
Yet not a soul to help you
They are too busy in doubt

Offended by the cruelty
you could have been there hours
Yet all they do is watch you
As their face gradually sours

I hasten over to you
Grab you carefully
Allowing my kindness to hold you
You could be scared desperately

Memories flooding back
Childhood days and pain
I can feel your heart beating
And your life will end this day

Realizing the suffering
as people pretend to care
suddenly the watchers are blustering
and their care is everywhere

I take you away quickly
hold you closely and shelter you from their sight
they don't deserve your beauty
its a gift and They don't deserve that right

Calmer now you stutter
and we walk so carefully
I look in to your eyes and sputter
as you coo thankfully

Head tilts to the side
eyes closing wistfully
I think a prayer of your bride
and feel love wash over me

you still your beating heart and mine
a tear runs down my cheek
not a soul around me cries
its just a bird they think

A soul washed out I say
a tender gentle love
another good thing gone this day
you'd notice if it was a dove

But its not the feathers i cry for 
its the lack of compassionate love
as people pretend to care out loud
and cannot help a dove

I was out and about today on may way home from work and noticed a sad thing that put me off for the night. I still have the carcass to take the the vet tomorrow in case it was diseased and i could get something or even if they just need to do an autopsy on him .  I used to raise pigeons with my grandmother when i was little. I'm sure he was poisoned.  But  barring the past, it was just a hurtful reminder of how people are so involved in their evil and ignore what their heart tells them  for fear of standing out and being ridiculed.

More on this later, I just had to write it down while it was in my head.  and hopefully slip out of this funk .

Bastol.

 Wow, this was a great post over at kates coffee cafe. ..  

 I smell a rebuttal coming soon . * I'll keep ya posted *

In the mean time . drop on by her shop,  she's got the best coffee around. 

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Dare To Be Yourself <<<---- link to original post!

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. However, when we don’t know who we are or if we are afraid to be who we are, we mostly pretend to be who we think we are. This deduction is based on our self image which is made up of our experiences, desires and other people’s ideas and expectations of us.

Maintaining this false self is a betrayal of ourselves. In all deep spiritual journeys, there is the experience of betrayal. Betrayal always tells us to adjust our life to be more authentic.

There are large betrayals (e.g., your partner leaving you) and small betrayals (e.g., disappointments). They are all experiences of being wounded for the purpose of breaking down the defenses of the personality. When we allow the wounding and accept the betrayals as divine gifts, we greatly benefit.

What we identify with is all important. What you must dare is to be yourself, be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind

 

Well I must say that my blogs should get a nice sprucing up  now that I have a proper editor that works offline and allows me to upload and edit photos and everything with a what you see is what you get format..

Its here at.

http://windowslivewriter.spaces.live.com

Well worth the toys to play with and download.

The only thing is, once you use it, I don't think it will dynamically modify your styles to match a new theme..

( a problem I have right  now when some fonts are hard coded in black and you cant read them on this dark background and then have to find them and go back to edit them )

Oh well, at least I can make pretty inlaid pictures..

 AWWE :)

The Aww Factor

Not funny, not crazy, just cute.

It seems that most people think that love is an illusion because they

cant seem to find it.

They convince themselves that love is an illusion and that we are not meant to have it because they are searching for it.

The answer is always right under your nose when that happens. Literally in this case.  People just don’t seem to get ( in my experience) that love is not something you have to find. It finds you . Its something that we all have to give. When you give it  you attract love.

Sometimes its hard because where you think you want love to be its not there, and even when it is it doesn’t mean that person is going to give it to you . This happens because the person holding on to it  really wont let go of it when they can give themselves self love. Its easier to do , but definitely not as satisfying.

Think of it this way for a moment. If you are in love with yourself you can instill your own confidence and your own sense of image.  You think that things are good as love attracts and you find that you have people attracted to you constantly. You don't even have to be physically beautiful because you love yourself and that image will find you company always.  BUT  when you give love you can feel the same  and not feel guilty or repressed because you take advantage of someone or use them for pleasure ( that’s not love) 

Oh god here I go again . Its hard for me to describe love as it doesn’t want to be described directly . its an emotion and that is why you can never find it. Physicality will never find an emotion. But it can trigger its illusion

Hence why its an illusion. NOT! Its just something that you cant look for.

Cupids arrow never can be grabbed and inserted into your heart.  It has to be shot form an unsuspecting little man in a diaper that you cant see. But trust me  when it hits you . you will know it without a doubt.  Just pray that the other arrow that’s supposed to be attached to it hits the others heart.

Okay maybe I'm a dreamer, but I heard that arrow hit for me , and since then it has caused me misery. And I enjoy it. That scares me

I am a pleaser and I enjoy making others happy, or giving them pleasure, even at my own expense.  And yet here I am unable to do so , and all I get for my recourse is to write ..

Dang, cant logically continue my rebuttal now that my mind is on that one again . if I told you what I would do to make that work you could classify me as crazy .  if I told you what I have done. You would think I am a lunatic.  That’s the funny thing about love. Its an emotion that mimics insanity . after all there are only 2 times when you can injure yourself , when your crazy or when your in love. The sad thing is I have finally realized that I will have to focus on pleasing others to keep myself going.

Just like most of us heartbroken people out there.  But I refuse to give up on the illusion that I have created because it’s the most deep rooted feeling in my life. And I would rather  bee deeply in love than turn sour bitter or even hate.

That would be bad..

1 am .. I guess I shouldn’t rebut when its late, I'm tired and have to go to work .  let me do this rebuttal in a poem.. its easier for me .

In the meantime , I'm going to torture myself again tomorrow.

L8r

Bastol

 had to share this post from a friend of mine.

It was a great read, Drop by and leave her a thought or two and  let me know what you think here too.

*edit*

Here is what i posted in response on the below entry ( after i reran it through a word processor :blush: ) for those of you who can't click the link at the top of her message here :)

L8r friends

Bastol

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What's love got to do with it?

---

This summer started out with many people blogging about that four letter word...LOVE.  Initially, I was leaving comments, but after a while it dawned on me I was standing alone in my skepticism.  Ooops. I've been to Jaysey's space on a regular basis, read her entries and the comments posted there, and discovered many people still firmly believe in the illusion of love.  Jaysey is awesome, btw...she posts subject matters about love that draw quite a following. (Who says love is forgiving, btw?  Love is a spoiled child, that pouts and sulks and throws tantrums when it doesn't get it's way!)

 

 

Love, defined, is:

 

1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

 

2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

 

3. a. Sexual passion. b. Sexual intercourse. c. A love affair.

 

Which is all well and good, I suppose.  But, like any emotion, anger, joy, passion, frustration, etc., etc., it's an emotion that passes given time.  Just as anger is carried in the heat of the moment, so too, I believe, are the feelings of love.  Then, given time, it settles into a more complacent state of familiarity and comfort.  Love, as an emotion, is a messy thing and gets in the way of so many other tangible qualities in a relationship.  I'm very much a logical/analytical person and most of my life decisions are based more on my thoughts for a thing than my emotional criteria.  That's not to say I've never had those "tender, ineffable feelings of affection..." for another person.  Sure, I've felt that just been sucker punched in the belly feeling, and yeah, there was a time when I thought such feelings might last a lifetime, but those thoughts dissipated shortly after my accident when the man who swore I was the "love of his life" just kind of evaporated into nothingness. No phone call, no flowers, no "Dear Jane"  letter, nada.  Go figure.  He nearly had me convinced I/we could "have it all", that together we could grasp the "brass ring".  Who was he kidding?  I nearly believed him.  If I had truly believed him I would have been living in Montana by now.  Funny, he never showed up to get me the day he said he'd be here....funnier yet, I hadn't packed a thing as he said he'd expected.  It is, however, the closest I've ever been to believing in the whole fairy tale of "happily ever after".  Maybe I'm not the only skeptic out here after all.

 

I've also  had those "feelings of intense desire and attraction toward a person...."  it's the nature of the beast and I think deep down inside, we're all just a tad animalistic.

 

It goes back to the fundamental need to procreate.  Well, I've done my procreating and the earth really doesn't need my help becoming more populated, (besides, could you see a half dozen or so little "mini-me's running around out there?  Yikes!) so now I need something more than that. Something more tangible.

 

As far as "Sexual passion, sexual intercourse, and love affair", well, those simply make alot of sense to me...they're logical definitions that my mind can easily dissect and compartmentalize and they don't deal with the emotions, thereby eliminating confusion, insecurities, yada, yada, yada.

 

Tangible:

1. a. Discernible by the touch; palpable: a tangible roughness of the skin. b. Possible to touch. c. Possible to be treated as fact; real or concrete: tangible evidence.                                                                             

2. Possible to understand or realize: the tangible benefits of the plan.                                             

3. Law That can be valued monetarily: tangible property. n. 1. Something palpable or concrete. 2. tangibles Material assets.

Jaysey wasn't the only person blogging about love and soul mates this season.  I visited Ventl8trs (I believe this space is private now) space and found that she'd blogged about soul mates.  Now here's a subject matter that makes more sense to my mind. 

 

Soulmate:

One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity.

Now, see?  That makes sense!  Less emotional, less intense perhaps, but something more concrete, that has potential for longevity!  I'm not scoffing at those of you who believe in love and all it implies, I'm expressing my personal philosophy of love....it could be subject to change, who knows?  It's going to take a heck of a miracle to accomplish that.  I hear the cogs in your minds all working overtime.....yes, something did trigger this post, but  I'm not going to blog about it.  Perhaps not yet, anyway. 

Let me find somebody I can be compatable with, that has the same zany zest for life as me and isn't afraid to live it with the same energy I do;  someone with similar points of view (though I love debating differences of opinion which is a great mental stimulus and oh, so sexy!) ; someone who loves to laugh.... and I'd consider something for the long haul.  Maybe.  I don't need a partner to complete my life, I would consider a partner who could complement/enhance my life. 

If I ever encounter anything remotely like what most people seem to see love as, I'll likely be setting new speed records for land travel in my efforts to escape!

And now that your educational  requirements have been met for the day/evening....I'll say goodnight....or for those of you who are daytimers...good morning! 

 one of my current short lived favorite songs..

Its just a FUN tune..

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Buckcherry: Crazy Bish
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Courtesy of IFILM

 This i had to share.. Its what i believe.

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A Girl And A Boy

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said...no. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever... and he said no. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no. She had heard enough.   As she walked away, tears streaming down her face,  the boy grabbed her arm and said... You're not pretty. . . . .you're beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever . . . .  I NEED to be with you forever. And I wouldn't cry if you walked away... …I'd die...