Just wrote this.. its kinda raw.

but i was feeling this now. anxiety..

 

CANDY

---

Given the candy of your most addicted desires
Told that you do not touch it
Told if you do its punishment and loss
You will lose that which you hold next dear
But it’s placed before you
Put under a spotlight
And others near you enjoy it freely
Without recourse
At least, without your recourse.
 
Indulge you must
You cannot resist
It’s harmless to nibble
When no one is looking
You’re allowed to bite
But they watch you most of all
Caught before
Scolded, warned
Whipped

But it brings enjoyment to your day
Enjoyment to your life
Intelligence
And love
You wish they would hide it
Remove it from your reach , your view
It’s some sort of test, conspiracy
A game they play
 
Today your the target
The mission
CRUEL!
Take it away
It’s better if you do
For all of us
For me
PLEASE!

Inside you know you have the strength to resist
Will to survive
Desire to advance away
Intelligence to know better
Logic to reason it off
But this is emotion
Impossible to control all the time
When your guard is down
Weak

Isn’t it just easier to get punished?
Than to be tortured by the candy
Pain more endurable
Than the internal turmoil
The emotion

 

For SV :  "I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love"

 

I must confess i have been distracted lately ,  alot of things going on in life again ..

having to purge my list of friendships always hurts, but sometimes self defence  requires it.

 

It always amazes me how few people in the world truly understand what love is, and how to keep it alive..

 

even as friends love can survive, but not after one person decides that its something they can use to control you and get thier way .

 

Even then love can make the strongest manly man turn into a WUSSY.  But only if he wants to .

 

either way theres 3 million reasons for me to be distracted and thats after the taxman takes his 2, so  forgive me if i dont have much to post for the next while.  I promise though that i will get up and post somethign with video that will make you cry beautiful tears of joy and make you want to wish you were with me to share  in that,  even if you arent one of my hot n sexy stalkers :P

 

 

keep the comments coming, even though im not posting, i still read :)

 

oh and for those of you who play second life : my game name is "Bastol Bunin" and for those of you who dont, join now, its free and ill hook ya up  "click here to join" and don't forget to add me to your friend list :)