Bastol And the Sword-Pen: December 2006

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30/12/2006

Christmas Was Good

Christmas was good to me this year

full of fun filled appetites and cheer

there was not but a single utterance

of the usual trailer trashing mutterances

We played board games till the wee hours

fell short of the hour of the morning child

but managed to wake to enjoy the sound

of the little tykes shouting ' santa was here '

smiles and giggles and a few cups of joe

and the board games came out once mo'

we played till we dropped and we each won a round

then scatterd about and made our own sound

parties with families and

children long gone

cut another turkey and

sang some more song

Thank you world for providing me

a christmas to remember

without the drama scene

Bastol.

23/12/2006

I got into a mood today yacking with one of my buddies on how he finds it amazing how i keep meeting all these beautiful women and yet i dont take *advantage* of them like boys do. We argued about how to treat women , and we argued about how women treat men , and we argued about how he does it , and why i dislike him for it.. IT WAS A GOOD DAY! it fired up some thoughts in my head that i want to share . and in my browsing of the net i found some stuff that explains how i feel pretty good so below is a mishmash of my thoughts on paper.

Yes, I belive real women exist. I just havent found any yet.

War on Society

Yes my people, Generation wuss is in full effect! If you doubt my words really think about the guys you know. My acquaintances tally up to about 1 Real Man out of 10 frustrated boys. That's 10%, yall! Make no mistake, in this age of intellectual castration it is war that we wage against the social programming that stifles our true nature and sexuality.

Think I am over-reacting? Pbffffft! Have you been to the movies in the last few decades? Have you paid attention to the crap that is played on the radio? The music is nothgin but emasculation for men . "I'm sorry, i can do better at chopping my own bits off." GAAAAH!this stuff make me mad. Because when you add it all up it equals lonely people. and women who cant find a man when they are surrounded by them . and men who havent got a clue to what that is. !

Love is The Message

Really listen to the ideas you are being fed while you are "entertained". You will see that the same message is repeated over and over, shameless as any propaganda.

"Find your true love...your SOUL MATE...that one person who completes you and you will live happily ever after"

And so everyone scrambles to find their other half with the expectations of a Hollywood reality only to find out that they were chasing a mirage. What a cunning deception! So romantic and appealing that we CHOOSE to stay blind to the truth. Lift the veil of lies and you will see that when you seek happiness and "completion" from someone else, you are just setting yourself up for failure and heart-break!

Then what happens? Your relationship and entire world falls apart, and you are shocked, no DEVASTATED! How can this be? "Woe is me!" Then the dust settles and you think to yourself "Oh damn, I guess she WASN'T my soul mate after all, but hey check THIS girl out. She seems special. Yup she's different!" And so we chase the illusion over and over in a vicious cycle until time quietly slips past us like a thief in the night. Eventually we start to ask the inevitable question. What the hell am I doing with my life? Sadly, most people ask themselves this question when it's far too late!

Don't belive me ? I lived this, I was wise enough to as the question. My problem now is that there is a rareity of women who know what a 'real woman ' is. a woman who knows how to treat her ' man ' instinctively and has the confidence and inner beauty to act on it. I have met the woman of my dreams. she haunted me until this year. Now, we are friends because she has an maginary version of what a woman is. And then i got to know the perfect woman. Except for the little bit about confidence, she is there. I dont seek anymore, its not worth my time to chase after pipe dreams created by hollywood. I know that i am desireable and have no problems meeting women and even have numbers thrown at me. I dont want them . most of them are girls.. A real woman will act out of the norm. will not be like everyone else. and wont be afraid to make the first move.

Technology + Laziness = Isolation

With all the conveniences and distractions of a modern society, we have become expert Time Wasters. Think not? Riddle me this. How many hours of your life are spent in front of a TV or computer? Since you have found this post, I am willing to bet that you spend more than 4 hours a day living your life through a screen. It is time to shake off your long slumber and wake up. Can't you see how the Media has succeeded in dominating your awareness, molding your mind to conform to their status quo and robbing you of your reality?

Man, I don't know about you, but I am concerned with the direction society is heading. More and more people have stopped living life in favor of watching it! How ridiculous is this? Reality TV has become more popular than reality! What is going on here? Is life now a spectator sport? Damn, no wonder people are scared shytless of being social. It has become uncharted territory for them. But hey, put them in a room with a TV or a Playstation and they are fukking pros at that!

The distraction doesn't stop there, either. Oh no my friend. The media machine is just getting started actually. I mean they have to get disgustingly rich, right? So they wage these billion-dollar campaigns against us with their glossy false promises. Read between those lines and you get the following message:

"Keep searching for happiness outside yourself because once you become fulfilled, you are no longer profitable to our corporate agenda"

And so the industries are built. From sexy ads to porn, there's a lot of profit to be made off of such widespread repression. Sex sells! Hell, people are paying good money to learn how to seduce, something we should all be doing naturally! WTF????!!

Am I the only one getting angry here?
Doesn't the fact that you are have been lied to your whole life infuriate you?

GOOD!

Anger is excellent fuel for transformation..and I get the feeling some of you need a nice kick in the ass in order to apply what I am about to drop here.

*BOOT!*

/rant off

22/12/2006

i now have video on my blog

YEP! got the video to work . so no i can entertain you all with Video clips and sound and keep you posted on my piano learning skills.

Keep in mind i bought that piano in november i think and really had no clue how to play before then ..

for comparason I have appended a pro playign the same tune..

let me know what you think, that window will change whenever i record some video with my cam .

21/12/2006

Merry Christmas to me

Well, its Christmas and I want to wish you all a Very merry Christmas. And remember that there is a Santa and the Christmas spirit in all of you..

now on to the greed :)

I bought myself a Christmas present because I wanted to take pictures this Christmas and didn't have a working camera ( yea my Sony cybershot p72b died at the ballet ) . Okay well, I was all dressed up and my date and I were at the ballet. Since we were all gussied up I figured we could take some photos of eachother and stuff. The plan was perfect until the camera wouldn't turn on . Oh well. life goes on ..

But now I couldn't take epics of my favorite niece for Christmas.. !!!! Cant have that so I bought a nice digital cam . A canon powershot G7 (see here)

The camera is fantastic! and reasonably priced! but long story short I took a Schlitz of photos and want to share some of my better shots.. I wanted to play the piano for you and post a video to watch and stuff, but the file size was too large in high quality mode ( aka High definition video!) at 20 minutes it was a full cd worth at 600 Mb with sound.

So if I get the video done smaller ill post again with a verbal reading from my poetry. otherwise have a gander at the photos I took and let me know what you think.

( note this is a digital cam and night shots are usually a PITA to take especially through a glass window)

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18/12/2006

WOOPS

Woops previous post somehow ended up duplicate, but good to hear more feedback on it anways..

-- heres a little humor for you .. hope you dont see it comin..

Tonights the poetry reading, and i plan to try to tape the audio for my blog * if allthe gadgets work* no sense in holding back now that im free :)

There was a fly looking at some food in a river. The fly thought, "If I go down, I can get the food!"

There was a fish looking at the fly. The fish thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, I can get the fly!"

There was a bear looking at the fish. The bear thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, and that fish comes up to get the fly, I can get the fish!"

There was a man looking at the bear. The man thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, and the bear gets the fish, I can shoot the bear!"

There was a mouse looking at the man. The mouse thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, the bear gets the fish, and the man shoots the bear, I can get the man's sandwich!"

There was a cat looking at the mouse. The cat thought, "If the fly goes down to get the food, the fish comes up to get the fly, the bear gets the fish, the man shoots the bear, and the mouse gets the sandwich, I can get the mouse!"

So the fly goes down to get the food. The fish comes up and gets the fly. The bear swipes his mighty paw and gets the fish. The man shoots the bear. The mouse runs for the man's sandwich. The cat lunges for the mouse, misses, and falls in the river.

What's the moral of the story?

When the fly goes down, the pussy gets wet.

and you have a dirty,naughty mind.

15/12/2006

Talking about The fear of purity.

Quote

The fear of purity.

to cut lose a part of your history is always done in haste and frustration . sometimes its easier to remain, and other times its just for the best. but the best for you is not always the best for someone else, can you be so selfless and give your all to those around you that you care about and be patient enough to wait for the same to come to you ? its good karma, but after so many years of patience it's wearing thin. and about to change you into something you despise with almost every breath . and that's no guarantee that what your losing is not already gone. you know that your not perfect, you know what you want form life, and that person that haunts your every sleepless night. you try each time to convince yourself that its this one, or the next one. and then you stop trying and something comes along naturally , it fits, and its beautifully a fit that the gods must have gifted. you are so casual that life doesn't seem to get better, you don't want to change a thing. but something happens. as it usually does it happens in a way that was not even true. a trust is broken, releasing a bond that you vowed never to break . can you do it, reneg your giving when you know its the right thing to do , can you release that part of you that you created in your history and not guarantee the next step happens the way you want it to..
its done now. you have to let it be. and go to bed. let the dreams wash over you like the warmth of an ocean wave on a hot tropical sea. imagine the eyes again, and draw strength from that vision and pray. pray that your inner strength holds out and the truth prevails. you can show the world what true love based on giving is. or at least that one other person who allows you to be yourself and expects nothing, but accepts your purity at full strength, honestly and sincerely.
sparks flew silently and under deflection of caution and hope. they were unexpected and began to be the true uncontrolled fire that can happen. always a scary thing, understandable because that's something people don't experience every day. that why when it happens your first instinct is to run, right after you had a taste of embrace. it scares the shit out of you and you run you feel its always not the right time, and your never prepared to feel that kind of fire. afraid it will upset your life and change your every desire and goal for your plans. unless.
unless your the kind that embraces that fire always, allows it to live, knowing form experience and from being burned by false fires, that the false ones always burn out, and the true ones have a different feel. something natural and animal, something that makes you soft like jello and warm like a melted marshmallow. I am the kind that embraces the fire, and have stopped choosing companions based on the surface colors showing and the pretty depth in the quirks of he flame, but more based on the emotional feel of the heat, the inner glow that only empathy can allow you to see. it makes your lists of approved short, and sometimes that's even shortened by how in touch they are with those feelings.. some take control and use that flame like a blowtorch, but that only burns those they touch. some are so afraid of it they bottle it up inside until it hurts. and when it releases its like an atomic explosion. but those fires always subside, because they only use a part of the source. and wont set it free. afraid if they do that they will be insane or never be able to be themselves that the world has defined for them .
break the mold. release your inhibitions and follow your instincts. let that fire free and feel the flame surround you and embrace you without pain and protect you with the intensity of the sun . take a chance on something that really isn't a chance. and invite the sublime into your world. even if you feel it a little while your life will change forever. I can make that happen, my life spent free allowing that fire to burn and learning that the fuel driving it is endless and as powerful as light. and that ultimately with truth and the walls removed you will find that 2 fires burning in unison such that I describes and feel might show you that it will stay with it forever, no matter the cost to the placated world around them as a fire only wants to burn as brightly as it can and share that experience with something that can intensify that.
you can do anything you want to do by choice. and you can chose to experience , instead of exist. live at all levels at once, instead of the one society dictates for you .

What did you learn from this ? i would love to hear what you walked away with.. thats my challenge to you . dont be shy..

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Update

I know its been 10 days since i posted. and life has been busy and dramatic so i have lots to say.

but i dont have time to post a detailed list right now..

so here is the short version

Monday I was snookered into reading my poetry in public .. yeah on a stage with 40 witnesses and a spotlight all for me... it was nerve shattering and at the end i recieved a standing ovation ( or it seemed so because everyone wanted to meet me after.. ) I have to thank my close friend lyudmyla for that.. * hugs* even though at the time i was thinking that i should make her walk home :)

oh, doing it again monday coming up..

Today I have my opening night tickets to the nutcracker suite ballet!! getting all gussied up and goign to enjoy some culture, ITS SO NICE to finally have a friend who apprecates ballet and classical music!

Tomorrow is the big corporate Gala.. fully formal affair.. they have the shaw conference center all booked, and I hear its a huge deal.. I should have time sunday to update this blog with more detail..

Also , i need to chose some poems for monday.. i may film it and put up a video on the blog.. any suggestions ?

Love you all!

Bastol.

05/12/2006

Talking about My Dearest Paul

I was trying to write something clever and intense as a reply, however i cant help but read this and blush.

So I'll let you read and you will understand that all i really can say is *THANK YOU KAT! * thats the best xmas gift ever..

If i could only give you a big skrumsh right now..

*virtual hugs*

and thanks agian KAT!

Luv ya hun!!

Quote

My Dearest Paul

My Dearest Paul;

I thank you with great sincerity for your kind and loving words, and I thank you for being there for me when I indeed needed you to be. I needed not to ask, nor did I say a word, you just knew that it was time to stand right by my side. You unselfishly gave my you time and stayed up late to ease my mind. You are a friend to me indeed. The friendship we have is full of love, respect, and honor and that along I shall cherish within my heart, and the friendship to which we know shall grow to stand the tests of time.

So I must thank you for being my shoulder, my shelter from the rain, a beacon to which holds my pain and helps me from going insane.

You asked a question in your last blog” but do I love?” Well my friend I hear to tell you that you need not ask yourself that question, for you do love. You know how to love and you know how to show love. For when you give up something that you want and need (unselfishness) just to consol the feelings of another, that’s love. It is when someone needs you the most (when everyone else is afraid and knows not what to say and runs away) you are here to stay, and you think not about knowing the right thing to say. You stayed with me last night, not because you have to but because you wanted to. You thought about nothing more then ME. What I was going through, what I needed, what would help ME get through the night, just ME, and not you. That’s LOVE

Perhaps someday you will see yourself as I see you. When that day comes you shall never feel the need to ask yourself such a question. You know who and what you are, and that is what amazes me. You are a very loving man, and you love more then most of the people that I am acquainted with and do not forget that.

Thank you

Your loving friend

Kat

XOXO

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