I enter the elevator
his scents compell me
I feel the man inside the room
“Please press number 6”

The elevator starts Its rumble
The emergency bell has rung
“Hmmm ... Looks like we will be here a while.”
Teperatures rise
his shirt removed , I dare and release mine

slowly buttons pop …unsteadily Fumbling
Passion Between our lips
punctuated by our tounges Dance
As if in trance, I obey His commmands
His desire is apparent

He pulls me close and pushes me Lower 
my mouth opens ,wanting , tasting
He pushes me down 
He enters my wet
elevator is humming.. it is starting up...
control is lost and we moan together

the doors open.. Patrons grin 
my buttons are askew...
they suspect of our sin
of our passion renew.

turned, a momments glance in capture
As we re-live the rapture
The passion cannot be a sin
as every elevator ride
i grin :)

---------

okay, now I want an elevator ride, or a REALLY cold shower :P

 I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you
I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk
I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised
I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"
I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not an a**hole

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things
I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club
I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just bf$$k you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date
I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get
mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy
I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and
dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

 I'm sorry
If I start not being there, and being used as a door mat, only to
be thrown to the side when the new a$$hole comes around
I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you
cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before
work
I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care But most of all
I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore
I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can ever do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.
I'm sorry
I caught your bf with another girl and told you about it, I thought
that was what friends were for...
I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your bf
was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
I'm Sorry
That I cared
I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talk about how you wish you could
have done something different.

Ladies always bitch and bitch to their friends that there is never
any good guys out there, and they always end up with a$$holes who
mistreat them. Well ladies next time you're bitching, maybe look up
to see who you're bitching to, maybe that special someone is right
there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head
"Why won't you give me a chance?"

----

I received this in an email and told about it was on myspace somewhere. Its not one I wrote but It reminded me of a time a little while ago where I changed my life.
It makes ya think, cause I am one of those nice guys, that hold the door for you and respect you and can handle being a friend even though I really want to be more....

I am not that way anymore.. I finally got it, 20 years later.   I will hold the door, I will respect you.. to a point.. and I wont hesitate to tell you how I feel about you . point blank..  If I just wanted to F*k you , it will get done, and I would never see you again . I wont take this kind of sh*t anymore.

But I prefer the kind of relationship where we can F*k or not, and remain friends, and explore all aspects of our friendship. Just don't treat me like the guy in this poem.. It hurts too much and I'll  let you walk  far away now rather than keep us both in misery..

---

You want a man, Here I am , just grab your freaking Boobs and take a chance on something  different. Afterall  if you don't want an a$$hole.. don't keep dating them, nice men like me will not stay around to watch you suffer anymore.. if you want to suffer,  do it on your own life..

I am done with anchors.

This message is not for anyone specific in my life right now. Its a general statement and caveat for anyone who wants to be close to me. know where to draw the line.  I wont lie to you Ever.

Check that, its on the floor
Check that, You want it more
check that, slam the door
check that , control is yours.

you got another ryme and reason
you got another time and season
dont matter cause your all she wanted
dont matter cause you know you got it now

Shakin that thing and she knows you saw.
dont pay ehr no mind cause you you know that draw
istead you got it bad in side you
your mind is goin all around and you
move up on the dance floor
you shakit like you got some thing to do
an she wonders why you don't pursue.
you know you got it
and she wants it
you know that if you chase her
she'l dance up on the next guy with out you

check that , its on the floor
check that , you you got the door
check that , shes young and you know it too
check that , slam the door
check that , control is yours.

you got another rhyme and reason
born in another time and season
dont matter cause your all she wanted
dont matter cause you know you got it now
dont matter cause shes followin you home

check that, you got the door
check that, you she wants it more
check that you got the floor
check that the gal is yours
check that shorty begs for more.

----

okay inspiration hit me listening to smack that, but  hey, reminded me of a little while ago .... :) and an interesting but private story.

to cut lose a part of your history is always done in haste and frustration . sometimes its easier to remain, and other times its just for the best. but the best for you is not always the best for  someone else, can you be so selfless and give your all to those around you that you care about and be patient enough to wait for the same to come to you ? its good karma, but after so many years of patience it's wearing thin. and about to change you into something you despise with almost every breath . and that's no guarantee that what your losing is not already gone. you know that your not perfect, you know what you want form life, and that person that haunts your every sleepless night. you try each time to convince yourself that its this one, or the next one. and then you stop trying and something comes along naturally , it fits, and its beautifully a fit that the gods must have gifted. you are so casual that life doesn't seem to get better, you don't want to change a thing. but something happens. as it usually does it happens in a way that was not even true. a trust is broken, releasing a bond that you vowed never to break . can you do it, reneg your giving when you know its the right thing to do , can you release that part of you that you created in your history and not guarantee the next step happens the way you want it to..

its done now. you have to let it be. and go to bed. let the dreams wash over you like the warmth of an ocean wave on a hot tropical sea. imagine the eyes again, and draw strength from that vision and pray. pray that your inner strength holds out and the truth prevails. you can show the world what true love based on giving is. or at least that one other person who allows you to be yourself and expects nothing, but accepts your purity at full strength, honestly and sincerely.

sparks flew silently and under deflection of caution and hope. they were unexpected and began to be the true uncontrolled fire that can happen. always a scary thing, understandable because that's something people don't experience every day. that why when it happens your first instinct is to run, right after you had a taste of embrace. it scares the shit out of you and you run you feel its always not the right time, and your never prepared to feel that kind of fire. afraid it will upset your life and change your every desire and goal for your plans. unless.

unless your the kind that embraces that fire always, allows it to live, knowing form experience  and from being burned by false fires, that the false ones always burn out, and the true ones have a different feel. something natural and animal, something that makes you soft like jello and warm like a melted marshmallow. I am the kind that embraces the fire, and have stopped choosing companions based on the surface colors showing and the pretty depth in the quirks of he flame, but more based on the emotional feel of the heat, the inner glow that only empathy can allow you to see. it makes your lists of approved short, and sometimes that's even shortened by how in touch they are with those feelings.. some take control and use that flame like a blowtorch, but that only burns those they touch. some are so afraid of it they bottle it up inside until it hurts. and when it releases its like an atomic explosion. but those fires always subside, because they only use a part of the source. and wont set it free. afraid if they do that they will be insane or never be able to be themselves that the world has defined for them .

break the mold. release your inhibitions and follow your instincts. let that fire free and feel the flame surround you and embrace you without pain and protect you with the intensity of the sun . take a chance on something that really isn't a chance. and invite the sublime into your world. even if you feel it a little while your life will change forever. I can make that happen, my life spent free allowing that fire to burn and learning that the fuel driving it is endless and as powerful as light. and that ultimately with truth and the walls removed you will find that 2 fires burning in unison such that I describes and feel might show you that it will stay with it forever, no matter the cost to the placated world around them as a fire only wants to burn as brightly as it can and share that experience with something that can intensify that.

you can do anything you want to do by choice. and you can chose to experience , instead of exist. live at all levels at once, instead of the one society dictates for you .

 What did you learn from this ? i would love to hear what you walked away with.. thats my challenge to you .  dont be shy..

Quote

?

Questions at heart

 

The passion of loves lives in me, in my thoughts and in my dreams,

but yet I know so little. For the love I thought I knew where lies brought upon by you.

 

If I told you that I loved you would you run and hide?

Or would you sit beside me and watch me cry?

Would you tell me that you love me to, even though it is not true?

Will you love me now and in the dark? Or will you simply break me heart?

Is today the day you take my heart? Or will you just tear it apart?

In your hand lays my heart, I give it to you to cart.

Now it is your turn to start.

Sharing this from a friends space.. 
Its quite excellent and touching. Has a deeper meaning personal to me too at the moment when i read it.  Click the title to see her space. Its a trackback. and i mean it as a compliment :)

Quote

SORRY

DONT KNOW WHY I FEEL SO BAD INSIDE - BUT I DO,

I DONT MEAN TO HURT YOU.

 

BUT I DO AND I AM - I KNOW,

I JUST WANT TO MAKE THIS PAIN GO.

 

I NEVER MEAN TO CAUSE YOU PAIN OR MAKE YOU CRY,

IF YOU COULD SEE  INSIDE YOU WOULD SEE I WANNA CURL UP AND DIE.

 

IM SORRY FOR WHAT IVE DONE TO YOU,

DESTROYING YOUR WORLD WAS THE LAST THING I INTENDED TO DO.

 

ITS NOT THAT I DONT LOVE YOU ITS JUST NOT THE SAME ANYMORE,

WE ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE NOW - DIFFERENT THINGS WE ARE YEARNING FOR.

 

I NEED TO FOLLOW MY DESIRE AND MAKE MY SELF HAPPY AGAIN,

I NEED TO TRY AND SHIFT THIS PAIN.

 

I NEED TO DO WHAT MY HEART IS YEARNING,

TO BE TRUE TO ME AND KEEP THE CANDLE BURNING.

 

I WROTE THIS TO SAY HOW SORRY I AM,

I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME ONE DAY IF YOU FEEL YOU EVER CAN.

 

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF ME KNOW MATTER WHERE I GO,

WE WILL ALWAYS HAVE THAT SPECIAL BOND - THIS I TRUELY KNOW.

 

IM SORRY BABE I REALLY MEAN THIS,

SORRY IF YOU THINK IM SELFISH.

 

THE PAIN CUTS DEEP LIKE A KNIFE -

SORRY IF IVE MESSED UP YOUR LIFE.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

Okay so I have been busy .  Life threw me some curves and a few things have been going on .. Without depressing you all, I'll move right along and let you know that I'm alive and well and writing a storm.. I just prefer not to post the stuff that brings doomsayers..

Beyond that I am glad to see all of my fans sending in those love hearts and notes of support. I love you all . And you all know that I know how to love.. Its unfortunate that others do not understand how.. so I am teaching.

Anyhow,

Ill get a new poem up here yet, but in the meantime I was writing a website for a charity group  to help raise money and awareness for the homeless youth in Edmonton.

go here. check it out, tell me what you think and hey, if you have a little concern drop us a donation and we will get you a tax receipt for your troubles.

Http://www.nightofhopeedmonton.com

Once a queen steps into your throes.
only life will stand still , it knows
Justified in its reaction
it knows no excuses and hence, no retraction

Effortlessly she parts the sea
of people around her, she says ' look at me'
'i am the center of attention'
'So throw down and vow your repention'

atop her pedastle does she sit
put there by confidence, bit by bit
modestly she does posess
beauty boundless wrapped in dress.

smiles punctuated by her lips
a walk accentuated by her hips
depth perceived by caramel eyes
and heaven created both those thighs.

What would you give to worship her ?
what could you tribute in soul kind sir ?
to pay respect and chance her glance
for every moment you are entranced.

daylight  flows on and keeps it real
every breath becomes a big deal
for one day soon you cannot hide
that as king you wish to ride.

 ( IF I LAY HERE .....IF I JUST LAY HERE.... AND JUST FORGET THE WORLD)

•  1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. 
•   2. A will is a dead giveaway.
•   3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
•   4. A backward poet writes inverse.
•   5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
•   6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
•   7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
•   8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
•   9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
•   10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
•   11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
•   12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum  Blownapart.
•   13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
•   14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
•   15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
•   16. A calendar's days are numbered.
•   17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
•   18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
•   19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
•   20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
•   21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
•   22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
•   23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
•   24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
•   25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
•   26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
•   27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
•   28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
•   29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
•   30. i said lexophiles not pedophiles , unless your talking about number 29.

Velcome All into my spidars den, here you veel find many vays of feelink tinks that make your heart pump many litres ov blood.

There id good reason for deez.  as you see i am showingk by tru colors tonight, and i Vill feast upon your young and innocent souls.  I belive zat you will be under my speel and you veel be vanting to post many comments both on deez blog and on my mailink list. or even vrite zem on my peckish body in effort to catch my attentionz 

Unteel zat time . please enjoy photos ov me, as deez is zee only vay i can see my beauty, as sadly mirrors do not show anything zat is zees beautiful az I am today .

Zank you  for your applause. ( and your blood)